The Hi-Times

The Hi-Times

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Don’t accuse, just excuse

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Life happens. There are always going to be times when students forget to do their homework or are running a little late for a class. But what absurd excuses do students make up for these things?
There’s the typical “My dog ate my homework” excuse, but with it being such a known justification, students have to get a more creative. It starts off simple. There’s the classic “hoarse throat” story to get out of having to answer a question in class or doing a presentation. Another way students get out of assignments is to simply say they never got it.
“I usually just say I left it on my desk at home,” an anonymous senior said.
Once this works, the excuses start to escalate – rapidly. As the school year progresses, students get to know their teachers better and the excuses improve. If students know their teacher is a big sports fan, the “I had a game last night and didn’t get home until really late” could work. Other teachers are on the softer side and hate to see their students cry. This could be time to pull out those fake tears kids so classically use.
Beyond the excuses that target teachers’ interests, students are prone to excuses surrounding the new era of technology. Technology is now an extremely significant part of many homework and classwork assignments. With assignments that must be printed, students take advantage of the problems with printers.
“I always say my printer is broken when I don’t have my homework,” an anonymous junior said.
Some say the printer ran out of ink, while others just say the whole printer is somehow broken. Another typical excuse surrounding technology is that the website was down, so students couldn’t access the homework.
By the end of the year, some students’ excuses get slightly out of hand. No longer is a simple excuse enough to get a teacher to extend a deadline. Students have to go above and beyond. Students take the typical excuses that work in the beginning of the year, like “the dog ate my homework”, and expand them. A typical excuse would sound like,
“I know this sounds ridiculous, but a dog really did eat my homework. It wasn’t my dog. It belonged to my dad’s co-worker, a pit bull, and he was chasing my four-year-old neighbor, your little girl is four, isn’t she? Anyhow, just before the pit bull unleashed its vicious claws on my poor neighbor, who happens to be the same age as your daughter, I did the only thing I could. I pulled out my binder and shoved it down its throat. The pit bull had no idea what happened as I carried the poor little girl – who, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but is the same age as your daughter – to safety. The dog destroyed my binder, which included the homework assignment that was due today, but the little girl’s parents, who have a daughter the same age as yours, promised me that you would understand.”
If all else fails, there is one excuse people often forget about – the truth. Teachers might be more lenient if the truth is told with no extravagant stories.

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Don’t accuse, just excuse